My First Lucid Dream

This is a very exciting experience for me. I have desired to become lucid for a long time, and while the experience was very short, I awoke inside the dream (and after) with a great sense of accomplishment. What follows is what begins as a normal dream. Italics, as always, indicate personal notes and not part of the dream "flow."

It is dark outsides. I am on a ship, I sense that it is a metal, as opposed to a wooden ship. It feels large. Looking out over the edge (from safely in the middle) I can just barely make out the pitch and movement of what I suppose are the ocean waves. They seem to blend menacingly into the sky which is dark with occasional veins of faint ambient light, like one might see during a storm.

I seek and find the captain standing nearby on the deck next to two other people whose features I can't recall. I ask him if we are in danger. He makes no real answer. I ask him where we are - suddenly I remember the answer to my own question, we are in the Caribbean. I ask him if we're in the Bermuda Triangle. He replies that we are but that it is nothing and not to be afraid. I look around me again at the pitch and turning of the black ocean and have sudden fears of giant tidal waves assailing the ship from out of nowhere. Somewhere in the back of my mind my fear is uniting with an amusement at the idea of being in the Bermuda Triangle. Upon writing this I recall reading stories about such waves and the theories behind them, etc...

I turn to my left. A wall of sorts exists off to the far left end of the deck. No one else is around. The wall is not very high, and in retrospect I could easily have climbed over it, but at the time it seemed formidable. At the base of the wall there is a long tunnel leading to the other side. Far longer than the width of the wall. I hear a woman calling to me from the other side. She is calling me to come get her, or to meet her halfway. This goes on for a short time as I try to make up my mind. I am concerned, both for her and for myself (it might be a trap). An idea suddenly occurs.

I take off my ball cap and find that it is shining with light. I point the bottom (head-piece) of the cap at the tunnel like a flashlight. The woman is gone but I am suddenly, vividly, and undoubtedly aware that what just happened is impossible. I am dreaming. I am aware that I'm dreaming. Don't panic I tell myself, inwardly. You've read about this. You can manipulate it.

I take a moment to revel in the fact that I am dreaming, but that I am awake. I look at what's around me with wonder and excitement because I made it all. Everything has slowed down. I am getting used to the fact that I am in a dream body. I remember, of course, that others have said that once aware, the dream world can be manipulated.

I decide to run like a wolf through the long tunnel.

My desire to run like a wolf is instantly reflected in my perception of myself as a wolf and an ability to move rapidly on all fours through the tunnel and out the other side. (I like running on all fours, it feels faster) It is remarkably light on the other side: Ambiently bright. I am still aware that I am asleep and know that I have some control over the dream objects. Everything still seems to be going in slow motion. Somewhere, in the distance, I'm aware of my own heartbeat.

I am back on my feet in one smooth transition from four legs to two. I jump and my intention to float effortlessly upward is made instantly manifest. I perch, almost daintily, with one tip-toe upon the top of a wooden dresser I've recalled from my grandmother's old house. I'm aware of a staircase I've somewhat unconsciously created on the other side. I still hear the heartbeat. I try jumping/lifting-off (more like moon-jumping) from the dresser to a glass shelf, happy and amazed that I'm retaining my consciousness of doing all of this. That I am actively experimenting with the dream itself. I can still hear that heartbeat, though. I land on top of the shelf after a somewhat short flight across this new space and stand on the top shelf. I can still hear the heartbeat. I know that somewhere (but I don't know where) my body is sleeping. I can feel that its lungs hurt. Combined with the heartbeat-awareness I literally frightened myself into waking up.

The time was 8:00 AM. I had gone to sleep at around 4AM, making this likely the end of one complete sleep cycle. My lungs, indeed, hurt, probably from smoking so many cigarettes in such a short time the night before. Consciousness never stopped from the dream to reality, but continued uninterrupted, finding itself in the body after my brief panic. It should probably be noted that 1) I have an anxiety disorder whose triggers are very much related to the rate of my heart (something i will now have to redouble my efforts to reduce so that I do not wake myself and 2) I have recently been questioning - and accepting - the idea that I might actually be dead during my waking life (a'la the film) "Waking Life" for a variety of reasons. This may have inadvertently served as the perception-check mechanism which made me aware that I was asleep and allowed me to remain asleep for the period which followed.

I am excited to have finally experienced this phenomenon. While I am excited about the opportunity to experience it again, I did 'program' myself to stay asleep while dreaming before returning to bed at 8:15AM - for reasons related to the anxiety. Best I control that first...

Can't Wake Up

I am aware that my roommate has woken up and is moving around. This seems normal from somewhere within my sleep-consciousness. As I drift deeper and see images moving I hear more noises. I start to become concerned that it is not him and that there might be a genuine danger in my house.

I try to open my eyes. They won't open. I try again.

I open my eyes, get up, and go into the hallway. No one is there. But there is also no furniture or art on the wall. This is not right. I didn't wake-up, I'm still dreaming and somewhere I still hear the noise.

Everything is black again. Again, I try to force open my eyelids but everything remains dark. I see myself suddenly in my room at my dresser. Unconcerned or unconscious of anything before. I don't know why I'm looking in my dresser drawer. This isn't right. Something...I was trying to wake up!

Back to black. Still the noise - somewhere far away. Again, I try to open my eyes and they wont come open, or they will flash open briefly but I am not "in" my room or "in" myself and I know it. I start to actually panic. I can hear my heart start to beat faster.

I wake up suddenly, without knowing 'how' I finally managed it, to the sound of John locking the front door on his way out.

Choosing a Different Me; The Reflection

Another Heroes related dream

It's fuzzy up to this point: I see Claire younger brother and wonder what it would be like to be him. Suddenly, I find myself looking through his eyes and seeing what he sees. More than that, I'm in control of his body. I suddenly realize that I can occupy any body I want and be any one that I want. Within the dream, I am reminded of a passage in the Tibetan Book of the Living and Dying about the large nature of consciousness.

I find myself in front of the bathroom mirror. I look in the mirror. The mirror in front of me has my reflection, but a mirror behind me - reflected in the mirror which is in front of me - has another reflection of me which is independent; grinning from ear to ear. I am startled. I spin around to face this reflection and find that there is no mirror behind me at all. Yet, the image is still there, standing in front of me, grinning like a Cheshire cat. I am terrified.

Securing the Mall: Martial Law

I am walking around a mall with a large silver gun. It is long, with a barrel attached to the front end which is used as a pump for additional power (think "super-soaker" except with bullets). I am moving from shop to shop inside the mall, instructing the employees to leave close their registers and leave the building.

I am doing this on behalf of the government for which I work. Some sort of emergency has been declared. I keep thinking 'martial law' in my head but i know its goal is to consolidate power. I go to many shops in this fashion, pointing my gun at the workers until they comply with my orders. When they vacate, the lights turn out. As the dream progresses more and more shops go dark. This makes me satisfied.

Kissing Peter Patrelli

Well, I certainly wasn't aware that I was attracted to the guy, and maybe the whole attraction-thing is a metaphor for something else. Here is the dream:

I am with a group of friends. Peter somehow end up alone together. It is outside, on a strip of grass with trees - almost like a median but more lush. We're talking but I feel so drawn to him. He does too, I can tell. We end up standing very close. He says, "you can do what I do." We come together and our chests touch each others. Two things happen, I think simultaneously. The first is that slowly we begin to fly, in small winding circles, further and further up into the sky. The second is that we kiss. It's less like a kiss though, and more like sharing breath. The pungent nature of the taste is rare for me to experience in a dream, and I would say was the most vivid detail. Yet, any words I use here will totally fail me. It was something akin to smoke, dark, rich, almost sulfuric, but pleasant. Almost how I imagine tasting coal might be. Strange...

Anyhow, we float for a while like that. Some of our friends see us as we come back down to the ground but we're both unconcerned. The whole scene replays itself in a stairwell on the inside of an apartment building; kissing and floating upwards. We end up back at an apartment. We are both naked but not having sex (sex dreams are really really rare for me). At first we are lying in the bathtub together, then on the floor, spooned in the fetal position.

New Hero

Heroes-related dream

Peter Patrelli and I are on a stage overlooking an auditorium-sized audience. Peter is sick (exploding man) and I am sick too, I think, although I feel a bit like an observer. Some sort of talk has just ended. Everyone feels hopeless to stop the illness. As people begin to get up and leave my dream-vision zooms in on one old woman with grey hair sitting alone near the aisle. A sad/resolved expression passes over her face and she closes her eyes for a moment. Instantly, I know that she is a hero and we have both been healed.

Attacked at Night

Me, John, and another girl are together. We are in a driveway, in a parked car, in a suburban neighborhood, at night. The girl has passed out in the back seat. John and I are in the front seat. I am vaguely aware that three people have been roaming the neighborhood, a man and two women. Mostly this man is a black man, but at other times in the dream he is white. They all seem strong - if not physically, then - like badasses, strong because they believe they are and want to be. Part of me was afraid of them, but the rational part of me told myself there is nothing to be afraid of.

Suddenly, the three people rush at the car. I can't react fast enough. They intend to kill us, on the way to something else, maybe to rob the house that we're parked at. I try to react by yelling, by honking the horn, by making noise. I am scrambling to pull my pants up. I am aware that I can't stop them. I am aware that I'm going to die.

It's as if the whole scene replays itself 3 times, and I try to escape and fight 3 times. Each time I'm overtaken by the man. I'm unaware of what the women are doing exactly, but I'm pretty sure that they're killing John and the girl. He's attacking me with a needle. I am aware that this shouldn't kill but it it's really digging deep, killing me. In the final attempt to escape/defeat them I dig my finger or thumb into the man's eye(s). It's not enough; I'm overpowered.

I wake up thinking that I hear loud knocking at my apartment door.

Police are Here

John and I are at my grandmother's house in my mom's old room. There is no furniture in the house, everything is bare. We hear a knock at the door. I am afraid to answer it. John peaks around the corner and tells me its a police officer. I say not to answer it. I am concerned that he may be able to come in anyway.

I Suppose My Dream Self is on a Cruise

Various things occurred in this dream. First, I am on a boat on a cruise with John. We are walking down a raised deck inside the boat and we pass my parents. I am immediately nervous at everyone having seen us together. Next I am outside and there are three pools. The water is impossibly, beautifully, dark blue. My mother is there. We exchange a few words about John but I can't remember what they are. My general impression is that she is being nice but doesn't like him.
Later, John and I are outside on one of the decks. I never actually see the ocean but nevertheless believe I am on a cruise ship. Valerie is there. We start talking with her, although she is behind a pane of glass. She continually refers to her relationship with me as "when we were roommates." I shoot John a meaningful glance from the corner of my eye